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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in remote45's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, January 19th, 2013
12:09 am
Sad News
Dearest Friends,
This is Deanna's son Brandon reaching out to you with the deepest sadness. My beloved Mother, the lovely and talented Deanna, has lost her battle with Breast Cancer, and past peacefully on January 17th at the Mayo Clinic. To the end she was the bravest and strongest woman I have ever known. As she past she was surrounded by friends and family who all loved her dearly as I know that all of you here do. I wish I could be bringing better news. My Mother always treasured sharing her life in this journal and with amazing people, and always spoke highly of all the wonderful stories she read here. For anyone local, there will be a Gathering Service at Quinn Shalz located at 3600 Third Street South this Tuesday January 22nd from 6p to 8p, and my family asks that for anyone who is interested, in place of flowers you can make a donation to 26.2 with Donna, which is a local charity that does Breast Cancer Research. Again I am terribly sorry that I can not be bringing better news.
Deepest Sympathy,
Tuesday, November 20th, 2012
3:40 am
A new playground to play in!
I know I have't been here lately, but it's been a rough year and time just seems to fly by. A couple of you wanted to know how things are going so I thought it was time for an update.
Last week I had my PET Scan after being on the chemo drug Erubulin for about 3 months or so. Turns out it wasn't up to the job of eradicating the cancer and was just letting all those silly cancers cells spread Willy Nilly all around. The tumors we originally had are growing back, Some new ones in the lungs and and some in the lymph nodes. And if that wasn't bad enough, it apparently let it's guard down further and let them get ino the liver, Ilium and a tiny area of the sacrum!! Well, my good Doctor immediately took this slacker drug and fired him on the spot. We decided on a new set of drugs. This set of drugs can only be used once in a lifetime. You also have to have a Echocardiogram to make sure your heart can tolerate it. Must admit I found that a bit daunting, but I trust Dr Moreno and know he knows what he's doing.
I couldn't start the drugs immediately (numbers had been a bit low so he wanted to give my body a chance to be stronger so as to tolerate them better!). I had been having some vision issues. (Imagine a Jack 0 Lantern mouth out of the peripheral part of your eye with bright colors pouring from it, and words with half the letters chopped out of them and you have no idea what you are reading!! Loads of fun!!) so an MRI was ordered! Luckily I went in on standby and got it and my Echocardiogram and my MRI done early on Thursday! I got a call the next morning from the Fellow who was taking the place of my regular doc (who was in Chicago at a conference! All my docs seem to go out of town when serious things are found!) and advised me that the MRI showed "numerous"brain mets (did you know there really isn't an equivelant number for "numerous", LOL). Well, it seems you cannot be on chemo and whole brain radiation at the same time, so my chemo was put on hold and they managed to rush me in to an appt with the Oncology radiation doc. Her game plan is 10 sessions of whole brain radiation. you have it every day except holidays and on the weekends. She and the fellow also determined I needded a steroid to help with the swelling in the brain from the mets. Now this is really fun. It's called Decadron. It raises your blood sugar A LOT, and it works like SPEED! So if you can imagine me as hyper as you have ever seen me and multiply that by 10, this gives you an idea of how I am right now. Probably not a good thing, but I did cook up a roast, homemade gravy and mashed potatoes Sunday night. I'm also talking a million miles a minute and have gotten a lot of work done around the house! I have to find out tomorrow if I'm still allowed to drive. I'm not sure if the mets prevents that or not. I noticed I still had some vision issues this evening so I'm not sure.
Whole Brain Radiation. The New playground I referenced in the subject. What a grand time that is. First they take you into the room where you get your treatments (looks like a CT scan room which is basically what they use.) you lay down on the CT table and they take this mesh material and wet it and put it on your face. they stretch it tight (it is mesh, so you can breathe) and cool it down so it hardens and makes a mask you have to wear for each of your treatments so they hit the right areas and you dont move your head. You then have this PLASTIC PILLOW thing under your head and it's like laying on a rock! (Gonna have to seriously speak to someone about that! Surely there is something better!! Maybe I'll invent one!) On the plus side (YES Virginia, there is a plus side!) They let you listen to whatever kind of music you want to calm you down and give you something to concentrate on! I asked for classic Rock and listened to The Hollies doing Long Cool Woman (a personal favorite), Tom Pettty doing Freefalling (probably not a great one for a table with no arms on it!) and Lynrd Skynrd doing Simple Man ( one of their best I think). As you can see, I got lucky and it didn't take as long as I thought it would . 3 songs worth. It's a bit creepy to lay there with something holding your face down, but with the music and the little ring they give you to hold on to, then it flies by pretty fast. The wierdest part of the whole thing is that when they did the radiation, I saw light "behind" fmy eyes. (my friend Dan says it's because nothing is in there and it was just bouncing around an empty space, LOL). I asked the Nurse, and she says that some docs think its the radiation hitting an optic nerve, but others think people just might be seeing it behind the eyes. I would of course be different, wouldn't I?
I had a bit of pressure in my head off and on today, but no other massive side effects so I'm guessing it's a good sign. I'm hoping it will go quickly and we find it works and then we can concentrate on the other tumors again. I refuse to give up! It's just a minor setback, that's all! I could of course sit around and cry (OK, I did do that a little bit one day!) but it's the way it is so one must make the best of it. I'm trying to just enjoy each day as it comes and hope I can keep it going. I read somewhere that if I can make it 5 years with the triple negative breast cancer, then I can probably make it 20! That's my goal!!
Hope you are all doing well. I will try to make it back here a bit more often and get up to date with everyone! Huge hugs to all and if I misspelled or it doesn't make sense, then I will use the radiated brain excuse!!

Current Mood: bouncy
Sunday, February 12th, 2012
12:19 pm
My Peeps!
These are my friends and co-workers. They all ran the 26.2 Run with Donna. The marathon to Finish Breast Cancer. It's held every year here in my town of Jacksonville at the place I work, Mayo clinic Jacksonville. They all had signs made that they wore saying they were running for me and "my girls"! LOL. I will be having another PET CT scan tomorrow to see if and how the chemotherapy I'm taking is working. I've had the surgery now and we need to find out if the chemotherapy is doing what it should and keeping the rest of my cancer in the lungs at bay.
Saturday, August 20th, 2011
4:31 am
Yesterday we did the PET CT scan to restage my cancer after being on Chemo for 2 cycles of 3 weeks on and one week off. Yesterday we also got the results. The 9mm metastatic nodule in the lungs has gone down to 4mm. All the lung nodules AND the main breast cancers have shrunk "considerably"! Their very word, "considerably"! A very nice word I think. It certainly pleased me. And if that wasn't great enough, one of the main reasons they do a PET scan for oncology patients is that it measures something called an SUV. This stands for Standard Uptake Value. Basically it measures the activity in the cancer "hot spots". When we started my SUV was 10.7. It is now down to 2.2. This is just incredible. It means that not only is the chemo working on shrinking but it's slowing down the cancers process as well. There was no evidence of any more spreading either. I'm just ecstatic. I never expected there to be this much of a change this fast. We don't know how long this will keep working but just to have it work this well is good enough for me. I had asked about going back to work, since going on Long term disability will lower my pay down to 65% of my regular income. That's a pretty big amount to lose and I'd really rather not. However the doctors don't want me to add stress and strain in my life right now. They indicated that we need to get a bit more Chemo under my belt to see how I do before adding the stress of work back into the mixture. I definitely do NOT want to jeapordize the process especially since it is going so well. I believe everything happens for a reason, so I'll just wait and see how it goes. I don't have too much in the way of side effects. All my hair fell out, and I got scalp acne. I'm having tons of bad yeast infections and the shortness of breath is still there. I have only had a little numbness and it goes away shortly after treatments. A little nausea but the meds they give me works quite well and it lasts for 8 hours at a time so you don't have to take too much of them. I have had a lot of bad days, but for the last week I've been feeling a whole heck of a lot better. I would say on the whole that I have been extremely lucky and will hope that it will continue to work for a good long time.

Thanks so much for all the well wishes and kind thoughts from all of my friends here. I believe in the power of caring friends and know this has helped me out in all of this. Thanks to all of you!!!
Thursday, June 23rd, 2011
12:27 am
First Day of Chemo!

Well, we finally got all the testing we needed yesterday so that I could be in a Clinical trial for a new med that showed very promising results only to find that the government put the study on hold because they felt the wording in the study needed to be rewritten. So since we had already waited so long, our joined concensus was to forgo the study and just get started on the Chemo. We were not sure how long we would have to wait for it to be reworded and for it to be approved by the FDA again. I will admit to being a bit frustrated because I keep seeming to fall through cracks in our medical system and having to use more and more time for everything, I firmly believe everything happens for a reason and I will just accept it.
On your first day of Chemo they give you meds to help deal with the side effects. You may or may not have these side effects and they may be severe or mild. One is a large dose of Benedril. Now I've taken Benedril before, and all it usually does is make me sleepy. Today I got the giggles at first and just couldn't stop laughing. My sister and son Brandon came with me to the first Chemo day and thought this was funny as all get out. Not even sure now what we were talking about, but I can say it was funny as hell. Brandon says he wants to come to all my Chemo days just to watch that. I have a feeling they will lower the dosage if they find out I don't need as much.
The next thing is that when the main chemo drug went in, I could feel it going to certain areas of my body. I don't know if the nurse believed me or not and I'm not sure I know what it was, but the whole time the chemo was going in, I would feel these "twinges" in different areas. Not really a pinch, but more like someone sqeezed a grape. I told the nurse that I thought it was eating cells. Since the chemo training we had (to teach you what to expect and how to deal with it!) explained that the chemo drug destroys bad as well as good cells, I'm going to hope that I don't really have cancer in all the places I felt it working. I don't have the results of the whole body bone scan, but I did have a staging PET scan and it didn't show anything except the breast and lungs we know about.
I was itching off and on but I'm the kind that if you mention itching, I start itching. It was one of the things they told us to watch out for since it could be an allergic reaction, so I had it in my mind. Not really sure on whether that was in my mind or real. The benedril also makes your mouth dry and they mentioned mouth sores, so of course your mind starts to wonder if the dryness was just benedril reaction or something else.
This is actually one of the hard parts. They give you a LOT of information. Tell you to watch out for a LOT of things, and then when you start to feel things, your mind is wondering if it's real or imagining or a combination of both. The nurses there were really great though. They stressed calling the line they have for ANYTHING. There are people on call day and night and they kept telling us to call them if we had any problems or questions. Even if you have an appt the next morning, they said go ahead and call that night. It's a very nice facility and the rooms are very comfortable. They have TV's in them and all kinds of nice aammenities. They have a lady who comes around selling sandwiches and chips and crackers or drinks. Anything you might like or want while you are sitting there. I had brought some things and since my first treatment was only going to be about 2 hours, I was good. We didn't really watch the TV, mostly just talked and laughed. I wouldn't even have minded just sitting there and reading a book, but for the first one, I was glad to have family there.
I had the first uses of my "Port"! The catheter device they tunnel under your skin. It's connected to a vein and they use it to draw blood, deliver drugs, chemo, etc. They gave me this "Emla" cream that is used to numb the skin so you won't feel the needle going into the port, but evidently I'm not using enough of the cream or applying it wrong, cos I felt it going in both times. It wasn't really painful, just a poke like you'd get on a regular blood access. The plastic tape they put on hurts worse coming off than the needles do going in.
I haven't been nauseous yet. I say yet, since I don't want to jinx it but I'm truly hoping I'm one of the people who doesn't get nauseous. They did give you anti nausea meds with the Chemo, and I know they last for a long while. I think she told me days, but honestly I think I missed that part, so I'm not sure if the days was for something else. I had a few moments where I thought I felt rocks in my stomach, but it didn't last too long each time, so I'm gonna hope that was something else. My friend said her mother only had to use her anti nausea pills once or twice, so I'm hoping it will be that way for me too. The biggest thing about today was the benedril sleepiness. I've eaten and tried to stay up for a bit so I could make sure I would sleep through the night. I bought ALL this stuff to eat help if I was nauseous and so far I haven't needed it. It's good to be prepared though. We made up a trash can with plastic bags in it! Made Jello, got juice bars and electrolight juice. Cans of soup and....wait...I think I forgot crackers. Might have to run up to the store again. Thank Heavens for 24 hour Wal-Marts! LOL! This way we lessen the chance of anything happening.
I have been watching the Game of Throne series and just LOVE it. I have been reading the first book just behind the series, but I cannot wait to find out what happens. It is gonna take them at least SEVEN years to get through it all and I need to know NOW!! Damn little Joffrey needs to DIE soon! I bought all the books and they will get me through my Chemo sessions. I'm quite in love the George RR Martin. He writes excellent books and for those who have been wondering, the books run extremely close to the series. Thank you producer and assistant writer George for that. For those who havent seen the series yet, I cannot recommend it highly enough. The filming, the scenery, the characters, everything about this series is just wonderful. Read the books too. They are just as awesome. (more so I think, cos you get so much more detail!!) I even bought myself a nice dragon bookmard to go in my "Song of Fire and Ice" books!
Well, I guess I'll go to bed now, cos the sleepiness is coming back. Hope you are all doing well and I hope to reply to my journal friends soon!

Current Mood: hopeful
Tuesday, June 7th, 2011
2:31 am

We have this little black tree at work that I got a few years ago at a Walmart here in town. It started as a joke, but we soon started to decorate it for every holiday that came around. My little tree is quite well known now and people from all over the department like to come over and see the new decorations each holiday and season. I found out today that my friends decided to have the tree show all of their support for me in my time of need. I'm so lucky to have so many good friends who care about me. Isn't this the most awesome thing you have ever seen? Thanks so much to my LJ friends, my work friends, my family and everyone else who cares so much about me. Your support and caring mean the world to me!

Sunday, May 29th, 2011
3:22 pm
Two words and your life has changed!

I haven't been here much lately and don't even remember the last time I posted anything. I peek in and read a post or two and try to respond though most times I just can't think what to say. This isn't going to be an easy post but I want...no I NEED it to be said. For the last few years, I've been getting illness after illness. I just knew something was wrong but they never seemed to find anythng. This week I got a pathology report with two words that change everything. Indraductal Carcinoma. Or in layman's terms, Breast Cancer. Two weeks ago I had really bad abdominal pain and went to the ER, they did a chest xray and I think because of a swelling in my leg that we now think might have been a spider bite they thought I was having a stroke. Nothing showed but I was told to touch base with my regular doctor in a few days. (it was over the weekend. EVERYTHING that happens to me ALWAYS happens on the weekend, LOL). My doc wasn't in, so the resident ordered an abd/pelvis CT. This showed some abnormal findings in the lungs, the duodenum, the endometrila canal and the kidney. This led to a CT of the chest which showed abnormal findings in the breast and the thyroid and multiple nodules in the lungs suspicious for metastasis. Then there was the Mammo, spot compressions, Ultra Sound and then Biopsy of the breast. Had to do standby on all the rest of the tests but except for minor things nothing else showed. They decided to do a lung biopsy which we are waiting on the pathology for it, but it looks like it is definitely metastasis. I have a brain MRI next week since they want to make sure it hasn't spread there either, due to a few symptoms I've had. When it has spread, they want to start the Chemo first to try to shrink the metastatic areas down before doing the surgery to remove the breast. The Breast clinic doctor tellls me that it is not the death sentence it used to be, but I know that with it having already spread I have less of a chance than I would have if it was only in one place. I go from "I'm gonna fight this and win" to "I'm not ready to die yet" and to everything inbetween minute by minute back and forth all day long. They gave me something for anti-anxiety, but it makes me so loopy that I hate to take it since I want to be aware right now and not sleeping.  I wasn't going to say anything, but I'd hate for my friends and those who would just wonder at some point, what the heck happened to me. It's rough tellling my friends cos I hate to make them feel bad and really, you can't change anything. It is what it is. I intend to put up one hell of a fight and if I don't make it well, I know where I'm going so it won't be bad there either. I just couldn't disappear without a trace. I love Live Journal and all the wonderful friends I've made here. I had no idea when I started this how much of a change it would make in my life and I'm so grateful I found my way here. For everyone on my friend list you've given me so much and I just wish I could have given you something back to show how much you have enriched my life. My goal is to make this a yearly post and see just how many years I can beat those two words and show them they can't take me out. I've been doing a few fun things like going to the movies, taking a trip to a nearby swamp, going to IKEA and having meatballs!! Just fun stuff to take my mind off of things and because I know when the Chemo starts I won't much feel like doing anythng. Please don't feel bad. I don't want you to feel sorry for me, cos I'm gonna give this all I have and I intend to win. I just want you to know how much you have and will continue to mean to me and I appreciate all the wonderful stories, pictures, chats, sharing and all you have done for me.
Huge Hugs for all of you!

Current Mood: determined
Friday, December 18th, 2009
1:39 am
Not alone in the Dark!
I'm sorry to say I haven't had much time to be here lately. Diabetes is taking it's toll and between that and work and family and friends, there just never seems to be enough time for anything anymore. I just to fret and worry but now I just learn to live with the punches. There will come a time and a day when I can slow down and hopefully it will be before I'm dead! LOL! I wish all the best for all my friends this Christmas season. Lots of love, lots of laughter. Plenty of food and just enough presents to grant a wish or two. While I may not always say it, you are all dear to me and I'm blessed to have known each and every one of you. I hope the coming year is everything you hope it will be. *hugs* As I do every year, I shall post my favorite Christmas story. It's a winter story and not really a Christmas one but it gives one the good feeling that comes with the holidays. A bit sad but in a good way. A nice little Yami no Matsuei fic that never fails to warm my heart. The link back to the wonderful girls who wrote this wonderful short story are here, bishonink on their Advent Calendar! It's day 15, and called Not alone in the Dark. I think you'll enjoy it, and maybe it will brighten up your day as it always does mine! 


Not Alone in the Dark  

Read on!Collapse ) 
Wednesday, October 28th, 2009
5:18 pm
Cold VS Flu??
Working in a medical facility, I tend to have access to things of a medical nature and with all the talk of H1N1 Flu, I thought I'd pass along this helpful chart to guide you into determining the differences between a cold and the FLU.

Handy chart for determining which is which.

Also see this web page for more info    http://www..webmd.com/cold-and-flu/flu-guide/is-it-cold-flu


   Cold or H1N1 flu?



 This is such a helpful chart; pass it along to anyone you know.  
  Know the Difference between Cold and H1N1 Flu Symptoms





H1N1 Flu




Fever is rare with a cold.


Fever is usually present with the flu in up to 80% of all flu cases. A temperature of 100°F or higher for 3 to 4 days is associated with the flu.




A hacking, productive (mucus- producing) cough is often present with a cold.


A non-productive (non-mucus producing) cough is usually present with the flu (sometimes referred to as dry cough).




Slight body aches and pains can be part of a cold.


Severe aches and pains are common with the flu.


Stuffy Nose


Stuffy nose is commonly present with a cold and typically resolves spontaneously within a week.


Stuffy nose is not commonly present with the flu.




Chills are uncommon with a cold.


60% of people who have the flu experience chills.




Tiredness is fairly mild with a cold.


Tiredness is moderate to severe with the flu..




Sneezing is commonly present with a cold.


Sneezing is not common with the flu.


Sudden Symptoms


Cold symptoms tend to develop over a few days.


The flu has a rapid onset within 3-6 hours. The flu hits hard and includes sudden symptoms like high fever, aches and pains.




A headache is fairly uncommon with a cold.


A headache is very common with the flu, present in 80% of flu cases.


Sore Throat


Sore throat is commonly present with a cold.


Sore throat is not commonly present with the flu.


Chest Discomfort


Chest discomfort is mild to moderate with a cold.


Chest discomfort is often severe with the flu.



The only way to stop the spread of the epidemic is to spread the awareness.


Wednesday, October 21st, 2009
1:03 am
I'm ALIVE???
Well, yes.....mostly! (they mostly come out at night....mostly) I won't bore you with the sorry details. It's medical issues and work problems and family deals. Suffice to say i'm not dead yet. We did go to ScreamFest Orlando a couple of weekends ago. (me and my child and 2 other friends.) Spent the weekend there. Couldn't really afford it, but sometimes you just have to do things anyway. Funny thing is that I HATE horror movies. I love horror art and I like to read Ghost and Supernatural type stories but I absolutly cannot stand to be scared. So I go for the art and the crafts and the books. Well worth it to me. I'll bore you with a few pics before I close.

Not sure if or when I'll get caught up but when I have the time, I try to read the posts even if I don't have the time to respond. My computer died a few weeks ago, so I was without a computer for a bit. I went and put a new one on my credit card and will be paying on that for a good long time. Again, REALLY worth it to me! Hope everyone is OK and if there is something I really do need to see or know, just tell me!

Big Hugs and lots of Love to all my friends!!


The rest are under HERE!! Babies eating brains, Elvira's twin and a Nazi Zombie just to name a few!Collapse )

Current Mood: cranky
Friday, July 24th, 2009
5:12 pm
The Wedding Video to end all Wedding Video's
If you have NOT seen this, then stop what you are doing and go watch it! This is what I'm going to do at my next wedding!!! (NO, it's not imminent or even on the horizon! I'm just saying......)

Tuesday, July 7th, 2009
12:48 am
The Dystopian
I know that some of the people on my flist read a live journal user who went by the name of The _Dystopian. He (I believe he was a he, but I am not completly sure!) wrote some really great fiction stories and posted them on his journal. I thought I had saved some of them, and now I cannot find them. The journal has been deleted and purged and now I cannot find any info on him whatsoever. I would love to re-read some of his fics if anyone kept any of them and if anyone knows a way to get in touch with him could you please let me know or let him know I would love to talk with him again.

I have lost a few people over the years when they simply decided to leave Live Journal and each time it breaks your heart. I feel a kinship with people here and even if I don't always have the time, I miss people when they leave. Some have stated their reasons and others just seem to vanish into the night. At least in real life you have a chance of finding them again, but here it seems near impossible.

Maybe one day.............
Sunday, July 5th, 2009
9:34 pm
Hope you all had a Magical Holiday!
For the first time in a while, I was not working. I had a passing out spell recently, and I guess they thought I had worked enough this week, so I actually had a few days off in a row. Now I get to spend all next week having tests that I can't afford to find out why it really happened. Still, it was nice to have a few days off and get to spend some time doing a few things I like to do! How do you like my bubble pic? Turned out pretty cool! Hope you all had a nice 4th of July!

Saturday, July 4th, 2009
3:27 am
Happy Birthday Aya!

Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness.

- Oliver Wendell Holmes

May you find Love and happiness!
Happy Birthday Aya

3:23 am
The Best Hotel Review.....EVAR!!
Exciting Stay

Hotel property is nice enough, staff is very friendly and helpful, however, some of the other guests were, in my opinion, somewhat on the shady side. Example, drug dealer arrested on Sunday morning, (overheard police officer say he found 25 crack pipes in his room), witnessed a "working girl" successfully solicit a man in room a few doors down our hall, saw at least 2 other "working ladies" frequenting the halls and elevator, and their apparent "employer" made several stops at the front door of the hotel - didn't even turn his car off - he must be a great boss to keep in such close contact with his employees, don't ya think? No security at the hotel. The staff seemed oblivious to the "business" going on around them, but in retrospect, what else could they do? They were greatly outnumbered by drug dealers, working girls, and their employers. Sorry for being so graphic, but that hotel is truly a scary place....unless you're in the market for an exciting new job!! If my language is inappropriate, sorry, these are the correct terms!

I laughed for an hour! This was honestly the funniest hotel review I have ever read!
Tuesday, June 16th, 2009
1:44 am
This is hilarious!
This is a "literal" version of the classic Bonnie Tyler song "Total Eclipse of the Heart". They took the song and instead of singing the actual lyrics, they sing what's actually going on! Funny as hell!

Thursday, May 28th, 2009
2:53 am
I love me some Rob Thomas!!!
I love it when someone can express something I feel so much more eloquently than I can. This is Rob Thomas expressing his feelings on the Gay marriage issue and it is simply beautiful!!

The Big Gay Chip on My Shoulder by Rob Thomas in the Huffington Post

I am a straight man, with a big gay chip on my shoulder.

A while back on my Twitter page (yes, I know how ridiculous it sounds), I mentioned that, if I believed in the devil, Pat Robertson might be him.

Being a fairly liberal-leaning guy with either liberal friends or Republican and Christian friends who don't believe that being one has anything to do with the other, I was surprised at how many people took offense to what I had to say.

These people weren't friends of Mr. Robertson but friends, apparently, of God. They had "spoken" with him and he had assured them that he was no friend of the gays. He also told them that he loved America more than any other country and was a huge fan of Dancing With the Stars.


The small controversy or "Twitter-versy" (patent on phrase pending) all started when I had made the mistake of asking why two people of the same sex shouldn't be able to make the same life-long commitment and (more importantly) under the same god, as straight people. Why can't my gay friends be as happily married as my wife and I? It seemed simple to me, but let me start off by telling you a series of things that I believe to be true:

I am a person who believes that people are born gay. I don't think you have any control over what moves you or to whom you're attracted. That's why it's called an attraction and not a choice.

I believe that America is a great nation of even greater people. I also believe that anyone who says that this is a "Christian nation" has RHS, or revisionist history syndrome, and doesn't realize that most of our founding fathers were either atheist or at least could see, even in the 1700s, that all through Europe at the time, religion was the cause of so much persecution that they needed to put into their brand new constitution a SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE so that the ideals of a group of people could never be forced onto the whole. (I also find it funny when people point out to me that it says "one nation under god" in our pledge of allegiance, not realizing that this was an addition made in 1954 during the communism scare of the McCarthy era. It's not surprising, however, knowing that these same people would punch me in the mouth if I called Jesus a Jew.)

I believe the fact that an atheist, who doesn't believe in God at all, is allowed to enter into the holy land of marriage while a gay Christian is not, shows that this law is arbitrary. Are we to believe that anyone who doesn't live their life according to the King James Bible isn't protected by the same laws that protect those who do? Using the same argument that I've seen on the 700 Club, that would mean that Jewish, Hindu, or Muslim weddings are also null and void.

I believe that to deny this right to the gay population is to say to them, "this god is not your god and he doesn't love you." There isn't one person who is against gay marriage that can give me a reason why it shouldn't be legal without bringing God or their religion into it. Still, I'm amazed at the audacity of a small, misdirected group of the ultra-conservative Christian right wing, to spend millions of dollars, in a recession, on advertisements to stop two men or women who love each other from being able to be married, but when you present any opposition to them, they accuse you of attacking their religion. Isn't it funny that the people who are the quickest to take someone's basic rights to happiness are always the loudest to scream when someone attacks their right to do so?

But this isn't a paper about religion. How could it be? Since we clearly have a separation of church and state, how could a conversation about laws have anything to do with religion at all? I'm writing about basic civil rights. We've been here before, fighting for the rights of African Americans or women to vote, or the rights of Jewish Americans to worship as they see fit. And, just as whites fought for African Americans or Christians for Jewish Americans, straight people must stand up and be a voice for gay people.

I've heard it said before, many times, that if two men or two women are allowed to join into a civil union together, why can't they be happy with that and why is it so important that they call it marriage? In essence, what's in a name?

A civil union has to do with death. It's essentially a document that gives you lower taxes and the right to let your faux spouse collect your insurance when you pass away. A marriage is about life. It's about a commitment. And this argument is about allowing people to have the right to make that commitment, even if it doesn't make sense to you. Anything else falls under the category of "separate but equal" and we know how that works out.

The support of legalizing gay marriage is in no way meant to change the ideals of the section of Christians who believe that homosexuality is a sin. But we should refuse to let other people's ideals shape the way we live our lives. Each of us has a short ride on this earth and as long as we stay in our lane, and don't affect someone else's ride, we should be allowed to drive as we see fit.


Current Mood: sleepy
Thursday, May 7th, 2009
12:36 am
There is a God and I just think he might like me a little bit!!

Somehow (and I'm not really sure quite how but I do not question divine intervention!!) I managed to pass my certification test. I am now a Certified Professional Coder. I can put that little three letter acronym after my name and command some respect from my peers and the medical world at large. What a feeling!! And I passed it the FIRST TIME!! That's an even better feeling. Although if truth be told, the best feeling of all is that I do NOT have to take it again!

I think I'm supposed to get a raise out of this!! SWEET!!

I even think my Mom might be doing a teeeny bit better!

I think some popcorn and chocolate are in order!!


Wednesday, April 29th, 2009
10:00 pm
When it rains it pours!!

Well, I thought things would ease up but of course they haven't! Mom is still in the hospital and they STILL can't figure out what it is. Tehy are doing another test tomorrow and will decide whether or not to try surgery. At 74, and with all the blood she's lost and the constant diarrhea and only on liquid diet, I'm not sure she can make it through a major operation, but on the other hand, I'm not sure she can go on like this either. We spend most of our evenings after work sitting with her in the hospital so she isn't all alone. Doesn't leave one a lot of time to do other things, but nothing else you can do. (hence the reason for not being here much!!) I'll just keep my fingers crossed and see how it goes.
I studied for my certification and took the test last week. I'm not feeling really good about it. I was so stressed about my Mom and Chris's medical and SSI problems, not to mention work issues that I felt I didn't do my best. I'm praying for a miracle that I somehow passed in spite of it all. Luckily I can take it again if I have to (you can take the test twice for the same fee!), but I sure don't want to go through all that stress for it again.
THEN two days ago I got food poisoning (getting a quick meal on the way to the hospital!), so I've been in bed for two days. Honestly, I feel like if one more thing happens I'm gonna shoot myself. (that's just a joke, I swear!) I know that sooner or later the black cloud has to lift!! I KNOW this, but I sure hope it's sooner than later. I'm trying to think of any good things, but none are really coming to mind. I did find a book a couple of weeks ago that I have been looking for for a while. "Ghost Stories of an Antiquary" by an M.R. James. Has anyone read it? It was recommended by an author I like very well, (Sarah Monette). I was also lucky enough to find the last of her Labyrinthe Series that I was missing in hardback, so now I have them all in hard cover. Little things keep you going and somehow manage to brighten up your day, don't they? So I guess it hasn't been ALL bad!!
I'm leaving you with a pic I took a few weeks ago. Kind of makes me smile. I'm sure some might call it a weed, but it's pretty and it grows in the edge of the parking lot and I like to look at them on my way in to work!

Current Mood: frustrated
Thursday, April 2nd, 2009
7:31 pm
It's ALIVE!!
Wow! Has it been that long since I've been here and posted? I guess it has. Life has been kicking my butt this year. So much for eating all them Black-eyed Peas, Rice and greens!! I don't think they really helped at all. I've been sick several times and my poor mother has been through the ringer. Surgeries, procedures, hospital..........you name it. First she had a labial cyst. Then they discovered she had colitis and diverticulitis. Then they wound up putting her in the hospital for that and discovered she was going into Atrial Fibrillation and other irregular heart beats. So between being at Doctor offices, hospital rooms and making up time for all of these in addition to being on mandatory Overtime, it's little wonder that LJ and my Flickr site have been shoved to the back burner. I even lost my paid status and had to renew it. I don't think I've let it lapse since I started.
They still haven't found out what's wrong with me and it looks like we'll just treat the symptoms and maybe somewhere along the way find out what the disease is. LOL, they want to take my tonsils out too. At 50 years old!! I will need to save up for my percentage of the surgery so it won't be real soon, but I'm not really looking forward to it at all.
I am also studying to get my certification for work. For a while I thought I wouldn't need it but it's finally come down to where it's what I have to do. Hopefully I'll pass. If not I may be looking for a new job in a world that doesn't have many jobs out there to get. I had to pay $420 to take the test and $75 for a study guide for it but I have 2 chances so hopfully if I screw up the first time then I'll make it the second. There will be distinct benefits to having the certification in that I can take it to any other clinic or hospital, and also hopefully get a raise out of it. I'm gonna do my best and we'll see how it goes.
Then, if all this stress wasn't enough, they are trying to take my disabled son off of my insurance because insurance policies hate to pay for adult children regardless of the reason why. I also have an appt for the SSI people to keep him on that too. I live in dreaded fear that one day they'll decide he isn't sick enough to be on their programs and I'll have to find a way to get his 6 different drugs with no insurance or medicaid. It scares me silly to think about it.
It hasn't been all bad though (looks up at above paragraphs and laughs)!! At work, they gave the employees free movie passes for AMC and I had about 10 people give me theirs since they either wouldn't go (can't imagine such a thing!!) or they just didn't go to that theatre or they just liked me! How cool is that? I've been to several movies with them. It's been wonderful. Not to mention there are lots of movies coming up that I can't wait to see!! My beloved Wolverine will be here soon. I can hardly wait. Star Trek looks pretty good too, and the new Harry Potter looks fabulous!!!
AND, the new book Corambis by Sarah Monette is finally out. Is there anything finer than waiting years for a book and it's finally in your hot little hands? You take off the pretty cover and set it aside so nothing happens to it. You open the book, turning each page ever so slowly til chapter one is in your line of sight. You start to read. The characters who have become as dear to you as some of your best friends start to come alive as the words dance off the pages. You want to read it slowly. Savoring every word. Letting the story drift along to make it last as long as possible, but impatience nags at you to go a little bit faster. Get to that next page. Find out what is going to happen next. It's killing me. I know this is the final book. There will be no more Felix and Mildmay after this book is gone and it's bittersweet to enjoy this last tale and know that I'll never again see them come to life in a story I've not read. I'll read it a thousand times, but it will never be new again. Still there is the here and now and I'll carry it out as long as I can.
I hope you are all doing well. I'll probably never get caught up but I'll just keep coming when I can. Many hugs to all of you!!

Current Mood: chipper
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